'Fifty Shades Darker' movie review; Erotic flick that went totally wrong

Blooming! Beyonce announced she is expecting twins earlier this month in a ethereal Instagram showing her with a veil clutching her stomach and surrounded by flowers

The New York Times said the film was "Fifty Shades Darker and only half as watchable" as its predecessor.

It feels good, doesn't it?

With the recent reviews, one of the most anticipated movies of 2017 seems to be most abrupt crash of all time.

Fifty Shades Darker stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan in the lead roles, supported by Marcia Gay Harden, Rita Ora, Bella Heathcote.

There's some really bad news in store for EL James fans. "In the vehicle, we just listen to Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick sing at us on every family journey we go on at the moment, which is kind of fun and really kind of terrible at the same time, once it's the 70 time of the week". When Anastasia learns that Christian's helicopter had crashed, all we got was crocodile tears.

The first film succeeded in establishing the desirable enigma of Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), as seen by doe-eyed protagonist Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson).

"It might have been a hoot if its sexual politics and baseline morality weren't so objectionable", Guzman adds.

How's that for some real talk? That's chiefly because it, like so much of literature "geared" toward women-whatever that really means-is so eager to have it both ways, or, rather, all ways: Christian has a serious problem!

One such laughable moment comes during one of the movie's many bedroom scenes.

"Actively tiresome and astoundingly flaccid", the review continues, "the monotonously dreary, everlasting humdrum BDSM fan fiction franchise can never decide if it'd rather be smutty or classy".

This Friday from director James Foley and Universal Pictures is the next chapter in the story of lovers who are becoming "Fifty Shades Darker".

What a world, what a world.

But, aside from being brought to you by the letters T, A, S and M, does this movie have anything else of substance to offer? There are a fair number of R-rated sex scenes, repeated conversations about Christian's controlling nature, and many (many) shots of Dornan and Johnson staring longingly into each other's eyes.

"Fifty Shades Darker is an ordeal to watch not because of its gothic eroticism but because of its utter blandness", wrote The Independent's Geoffrey Macnab. Fifty Shades of Grey made $85 million in its first weekend in 2015 and went on to rake in $571 million globally.

Meanwhile, the film is expected to have a good opening at the US-Canada box office.

Related news:

Hot News

isis-killer-beheading-video-story-top Facebook now lets you check the weather forecast on mobile and desktop
Feb 11, 2017 - 00:47
Though given the sometimes capricious nature of the Facebook feed, you might not always find the information when you need it. Fortunately, it's somewhat easy to go directly to that weather information, that is if you have Facebook on your smartphone.

isis-killer-beheading-video-story-top Russian Runner Banned, Loses London Gold For Doping
Feb 11, 2017 - 00:46
The IAAF said it would no comment on the case as Savinova still has 45 days to decide whether to make an appeal. She has not raced since 2013 after being suspended following an investigation.

isis-killer-beheading-video-story-top Trump attacks McCain over criticism of outcome of Yemen raid
Feb 10, 2017 - 02:04
President Trump has fired up his feud with one of the adults in Washington , D.C., tweeting that Sen. President Donald Trump on Thursday criticized Sen.

isis-killer-beheading-video-story-top Chris Kennedy Announces Bid for Illinois Governor
Feb 10, 2017 - 02:02
Madigan, who serves as the chairman of the Democratic Party of IL , said Kennedy would make an "excellent candidate" for governor. Until April 2012, he was also president of Merchandise Mart Properties, a commercial-property management firm based in Chicago .

isis-killer-beheading-video-story-top Buffalo Wild Wings 4Q net earnings drop 38.2%
Feb 09, 2017 - 00:44
Zacks provides the average brokerage recommendation (ABR) for thousands of stocks for institutions and retail investors alike. Laurion Capital Management LP bought a new stake in Buffalo Wild Wings during the third quarter worth about $211,000.

isis-killer-beheading-video-story-top With golf and gifts, Japan's Abe cuts own path with Trump
Feb 09, 2017 - 00:42
During the election campaign, Trump repeatedly criticized Japan for unfair trade practice involving auto imports and exports. He added that Trump has invited Abe for a round of golf while the Japanese prime minister is in the United States.

Pension victory for woman denied pension after partner's death
Feb 09, 2017 - 00:42
A woman whose partner died suddenly the day after their engagement has won the right to a survivor's pension at the Supreme Court. Brewster lived with McMullan for around a decade before he died two days after they became engaged on Christmas Eve 2009.

Antoine Griezmann is not moving to Manchester United, confirms Atletico President
Feb 09, 2017 - 00:41
Costa ended up staying with Chelsea but multiple sources have reported that the striker is set to move to China in the summer. Manchester United and Jose Mourinho have identified Antoine Griezmann as the player to lead the line next season.

Utah now ranks 14th nationally in solar industry jobs
Feb 09, 2017 - 00:39
Employers polled in the census expect another 10 percent increase this year, for a total of 286,335 solar workers. In Texas, there are 9,396 solar jobs and more than 260,000 solar jobs in the nation.

isis-killer-beheading-video-story-top Melania Trump refiles £121m libel claim against Daily Mail
Feb 09, 2017 - 00:39
Melania Trump , like her husband, seems to be ready to use the office of the presidency to make money. The Mail Online retracted its story back in September, but no settlement was reached.

isis-killer-beheading-video-story-top Tomb Raider: First Photos of Alicia Vikander as Lara Croft Released
Feb 08, 2017 - 00:43
And she certainly looks the part of Lara, too, sporting a tight tank top, combat boots, and her dark hair pulled back. Variety reports that Daniel Wu ( Into the Badlands ) has been cast in the Tomb Raider reboot alongside Vikander.

isis-killer-beheading-video-story-top Selena Gomez was DATELESS for the Super Bowl! Where was The Weeknd?!?
Feb 08, 2017 - 00:43
The 24-year-old singer took a break last year from music, after she revealed she is battling lupus. A Selena Gomez fan account pulled the video from the singer's Instagram Stories.

isis-killer-beheading-video-story-top Super Bowl LI: High-octane offenses sputter in 1st quarter
Feb 07, 2017 - 01:18
Some said Brady was on a mission to win the Super Bowl this season, to make Goodell personally hand him the Lombardi Trophy. New England Patriots QB Tom Brady now holds the records for most playoff completions, yards and touchdowns.

No conspiracy, mystery in Jaya's death: Doctors
Feb 07, 2017 - 01:13
He also described as "ridiculous" the idea of exhuming her body for a re-postmortem as suggested by the Madras High Court. This was for nominating AIADMK candidates for elections to two seats and bypoll to one segment previous year .

isis-killer-beheading-video-story-top Ryanair profits see surprise fall in third quarter as Brexit bites
Feb 07, 2017 - 01:12
The Dublin-based airline said sales for the quarter barely rose, even as it carried 16% more passengers. Unit costs in the quarter fell 12%, or 6% excluding fuel.